Friday, November 14, 2014

The Day I Know That I'm Gonna Become A Mama

Assalammualaikum.

It's been sooooo long since my last post. Kenapa? Kenapa? Kenapa nak berbelog balik ni? I don't know. Just feels like blogging again. *sebenarnya sebab hidup kejauhan dari cinta hati*

Alhamdulillah. Dah 24 hari jadi mama. Macam mimpi. Macam baru semalam dok pillow talk pasal anak. Pasal how ready are we to become a parent. Pasal sedih bila orang cakap aku tak sihat that's why tak pregnant lagi. Pasal everything.

Betol la kadang-kadang benda jadi when we least expecting it. Macam pregnant ni. For that very one and only month my mind was free from thoughts of wanting to get pregnant. Totally zero. Macam taktau how I manage to ignore those feelings and move on with my life. Yang I ingat, that was the month where I bertekad untuk be happy and enjoy life dengan Pali, plan nak holiday sana sini tengok dunia.

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8th March 2014.
So untuk permulaan, we've decided nak holiday dalam negeri sajia which is dekat Palace of the Golden Horses. Sekentut ja dari rumah. Nak dijadikan cerita, masa tengah packing terjumpa la Clear Blue digital pregnancy test yang dah expired. Haha, since dah lama tak buat taksub nak test, saja ja grab and bawak p skali la for our mini getaway ni. Tapi well, Pali dah warning awal-awal to not to feel down or sad if result not as per what I expected. *Deep inside nak sad jugak tapi psycho myself since it was an expired device, so what ever the result is, won't affect my feelings. Cheewah*

9th March 2014.
Dup dap dup dap. Bangun pagi gosok gigi sambil tunggu result. Konon nak cool tapi tak! Sebab masa tunggu tu dah tulis "Pregnant" tapi still loading. So when I read the notes, if indicator tulis "Pregnant" while the thing is still loading, doesn't mean that you are pregnant. Bang~! Down balik. So continue what need to be done, dah siap pakai baju semua tengok balik the stick. "Pregnant 2 -3". That moment tak tau nak describe the feelings. Excitedly woke Pali up and when I showed it to him, he commented the one thing I hate to hear,

"Ny, just so you know, it was an expired device. Don't get too excited". *Dengan muka beliau yang penuh tiada perasaan langsung!!*

"Ya, I know. Alhamdulillah, even if it's not true, I don't mind". *Sambil muka sedih sikit. Gila kau tak kisah??? Deep inside berdoa kat Allah yang it's for real.*

"Satgi kita p farmasi beli test kit yang baru ok?". *big hug*

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Maka bersiap awal lah kami laki bini, bergegas ke farmasi and beli 2 test kit untuk test. Walaupun niat di hati nak test the next morning, tapi naluri perangai terketaq-ketaq aku tak dapat dibendung. Immediately aku test kat toilet berdekatan. *Sorry husband*

Deym, satu line sajia. One part of me konon cool, redha. The other part of me dah dok mai sedih dah. Takpala. Bukan rezeki lagi. Tapi sedih-sedih, bungkus jugak test kit tu tak buang, sebab nak tunjuk kat Pali. Ngeng~~

"Eh, ni double line?"

"Mana????"

A'ah. True! Double line. Oh mai oh mai.. Is it true? *Terpaksalah si suami hadap soalan si isteri yang berulang kali tu.*


**Sempat lagi snap pic kenangan just in case semua ini adalah tipu belaka. Hue hue hue**



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OK lah. To cut the story short, Alhamdulillah, saya disahkan 5weeks pregnant oleh doktor. *Walaupun berangan la doktor wish congrats macam dalam drama-drama tapi nan hado~*

Makanya bermulalah journey kehamilan yang penuh excitements. 

9th March 2014 was the day we know that we're gonna be a parent. 


p/s : Gonna write everything I remember along the journey carrying little sweet pie in my tummy. For you sayang. So that you know, what your mama and abah went tru to bring you dalam dakapan kami. 

p/s/s : We already love you so much baby. Long before we knw that kamu sudah menempel di rahim mama. 



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