Wednesday, January 25, 2012

wednesday

I am supposed to start writing my next conference paper. Thanks to pakcik google. He had provided all the information I need.
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Centrepiece, designs, colour, errrrrr, wait! None of them related to my research. Oh ya, semuanya pasal DIY wedding stuff.. Teeetttttttt~~~~ *pingsan!*
Distracted betol!! 



OK bai.

p/s : today sepatutnya appointment dengan vet untuk vaccine.. :'(
p/s/s : Happy 2months old Bubu (24/11/2011 - 22/1/2012) - feels like you still around. =)

Monday, January 23, 2012

the.second.day.

Bismillahirahmanirrahim.
Assalammualaikum....

I try to make myself busy. Tapi apakan daya saya seorang student yang tiada pekerjaan tetap untuk membizikan diri. I am so deeply attached to Bubu sampaikan rasa macam kehilangan cinta pertama. Seriously can't stop blaming myself. Saya bukannya tak menerima takdir Allah. Tapi sepertinya segala kekuatan diri hilang bersama Bubu. I am so weak right now. Fragile. Taktau macam mana nak react. Malam tadi sekali lagi I breakdown and cried out loud. Astagfirullahalzim.

Bubu,
How should I describe her? Bubu tersangatlah baik dan bijak. Selama hidup aku yang selalu dikelilingi kucing, I never met kucing like Bubu. Bubu sangatlah cerdik. She took only half a day untuk belajar membuang dalam potty, belajar masuk her cage sendiri, tempat tidur sendiri. Her favorite place adalah atas riba, and belakang badan. Haha. Bubu paling tak suka bila orang tinggal dia sorang2. (but then, I tinggal dia untuk 'pergi' alone. Hmm).

I miss how she will stay kat dapur until I finished cooking. Tidur tersengguk2.
I miss how she will duduk kat kaki I time tengah basuh pinggan mangkuk.
I miss how she will main2 telekung while I solat.
I miss how she will duduk and tidur kat tepi sejadah masa mengaji.
I miss how she will terketar-ketar mintak makanan as if dah seminggu tak makan. Haha.
I miss the time where she will ikut kemana saja.
I miss bila Bubu pun sibuk nak tengok sapa yang ketuk pintu rumah.
I miss watching her sleep. Mengigau2.Tergaru-garu pipi. Melihat beliau tidur adalah sesuatu yang mengasyikkan.
I miss her smell.
I miss her sound.

Dah takdak sapa dah teman I buat thesis, article, google preparation kahwin.
Sibuk-sibuk kat file, buku, laptop.

Ya Allah. I truly miss everything about her.

It has been 2 days of sorrow morrow days for me and akak.
I never thought that I will feel the same pain again. *sigh.

p/s : I need my stabilizer. :'(

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Jangan Bersedih Wahai Hati.

Assalammualaikum,

It's been a pleasure for me and Akak to have you dear. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui setiap sesuatu. Alhamdulillah kerana meminjamkan Bubu walau untuk sekejap. I must admit. The moment she entered into our house, was the best moment of all. I've never been soo deeply hurt, heart-break and attached to something like this. Subhanallah. It feels like I've lost everything in my life. Perasaan yang sama ketika saya putus cinta dengan my so-called first love. Dada sesak. I barely breathe. I can't eat without having this feeling inside. Rasa nak muntah. I can't sleep. I can't do anything without thinking of her. Sesungguhnya she is not just a cat. She is our baby.

Yesterday, I must admit that I've acted as if tak ada iman dalam dada. I've cried out loud, in public. All the families were shocked. The engagement kenduri was supposed to be the most memorable happy moment untuk dikenang turned out to be the most saddest day in my life. I'm so sorry cousin. For ruining your day.

Mak and bapak freaking shocked! Bapak bought a Persian worth hundreds to cool me down. Hoping that by replacing Bubu will take away the pain in me. I'm sorry bapak. I can't have it. Biar abang yang jaga.

Betapa terketarnya tangan untuk mendial no telefon Akak, to tell her that our baby has gone. Ya Allah, I am so sorry for everything. This I admit. All the blame must goes to me.

Then, when I thought that my family semua dah tak berapa sayang kat I, I got hugged from mak, bapak, kakak, Najla. They've tried so hard to stop my tears. I got my little strength back. But to hear Akak's voice crying back there, I felt helpless. Kak, aku mintak maaf sangat2 kat hg. Kat Mija. I am truly sorry sebab tak jaga Bubu baik2.

3.30 pm. Time ni time Bubu mintak makanan. Terketar-ketar. Ya Allah. Tolonglah kuatkan hati hamba-hambaMu ini. Now I understand why lately I rasa tak sedap hati, sayup, sebak. Bubu sangat suka bila mengaji. She will sleep beside me during mengaji and wakes up once I finished. Sesungguhnya, Allah sayangkan beliau lebih dari kami dapat berikan kasih sayang kepada beliau. Redha. Yes! Kita mesti redha! Ni kan ujian. Semuanya pinjaman. Bila cukup time, kita kenalah pulangkan kepada Tuan Empunya. Mana boleh buat harta sendiri. =)



MasyaAllah. Well-versed. 



p/s : Bubu. You will be missed.
p/s/s : For those who keep on saying that chill ah, it is just a cat. Well listen here people. Bubu is not just a cat! She is our baby!


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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Alhamdulillah

Bismillahirahmanirrahim....

Alhamdulillah for the air that I breathe.
Alhamdulillah for the life that I have.
Alhamdulillah for still be given a chance to live in this world.
Alhamdulillah for still being a Muslim.


Alhamdulillah for the amazing parents I have. (For I am 26 years old and still having both Mak and Bapak. Seriously Alhamdulillah for this)
Alhamdulillah for letting me have my sister, brothers and  in-laws.
Alhamdulillah for having a wonderful friend and sister, Husna.
Alhamdulillah for directing me to him, my love; Fadzli.
Alhamdulillah for all the friends that I have.



For the past 25 years, I kept on complaining on every single things.
For not having this and that.
For not getting what I want.
All I see were only flaws.

I kept questioning why can't I get what I want. There, I forgot that Allah only grants us things that we need. Now that I realized. Why all this while my life seems so complicated and difficult. It was because I am not grateful for things that I had had. *menyedihkan*

Sebenarnya, it's not that life being unfair kat kita. We should learn to thank Allah; Alhamdulillah untuk semua benda yang kita ada. Even if its a tiny little thing. Sebab kalau kita sedar yang setiap benda yang jadi tu semua adalah dari Allah, then, life is being perfectly fair kat kita.

Sebab kita kena ingat. Allah grants us things that we need. Not things that we want. Sebab jalan cerita Allah itu adalah sebaik-baik jalan cerita yang ada. =)

p/s : Can't sleep, even after reciting al-Quran. Rasa sayu. :(
p/s/s : Ya Allah, untuk setiap dugaan yang Kau berikan, titipkan juga kekuatan untuk hambaMu mengharunginya. Amin.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

her name is bubu. and she likes to bumbum.

Assalammualaikum..

Kami baru adopt seekor kitten yang sangat adorable. We named her Bubu (since ada orang tu naakkk sangat nama Bubu tu.)

She is sooooo cute and adorable sampaikan semua orang tengok pun dah jadi sayang. Bayangkan those yang memang tak pernah suka kucing pun boleh sayang, apatah lagi saya ini. 

Beliau sangat manja seperti kanak-kanak and selalu nak orang teman. (nasibla ai tak busy kerja or pergi klas. if not how?) dan sangat suka tidur. Rutin harian is makan, main, tidur, bangun, makan, main, tidur...and the list goes~~



::aksi bumbum beliau::

::superman tengah terbang bertugas::

::superman baru landing nak lawan penjahat::

::superman terkandas dalam perjuangan::


p/s : laparnyaaaaa~~ ok bai!

InsyaAllah.....