Sunday, May 29, 2011

random #8 : Judging each other

I'm not writing this out to seek for anyone sympathy. It is purely from my heart. Tiada kena mengena dengan sesiapa pun. Ini cuma sebab hati ada sikit terkilan, kecewa, sedih, dan terasa. I mean, totally having problem with my inner-self. Tiada salah sesiapa. =)


Might seems like saya bukan seorang yang berbudi pekerti. I am not that type of person yang bermuka suci, innocent, lemah lembut, dan perempuan melayu terakhir. I am not perfect nor close to perfect. Not even close.


I have a lot of guy friends compared to girl friends.
I like soccer or hockey more than netball.
I prefer jeans and t-shirt rather than blouse, gowns, skirts, or baju kurung.
I don't wear make ups. I prefer simple.
I love Rambo rather than kisah kisah sedih Nur Kasih.
I am everything who perempuan-melayu-terakhir are not.


But does it mean I am a bad person? Does it mean yang saya akan bawa kerosakkan kepada semua benda disekeliling?

People tend to judge other people for what they see.
Kalau ramai kawan lelaki, perempuan ni cheap.
Kalau selalu keluar merata, perempuan ni slut tak baik.

Tapi pernah tak kita cuba nak kenal orang yang kita judge tu, kenal dia for who she really is? Closely and hearty know her..
Pernah kita cuba nak kawan dengan dia?
Bagi dia peluang? To know her better? Tak kan?


People can say "Jangan fikir sangat Minda. Not worth your time."
Tapi for me I need to figure this thing out. Seriously I need to know why.


What if you are in my shoes? What if I am the one who is judging you dear? What if you are the one who being judged? What do you feel?


Sesungguhnya niat saya ikhlas.

I will not be telling people yang saya budak baik, saya sangat baik, saya terlalu baik. No. It's not for me to judge myself either.

All I ask is for both of us to know each other, and be friend. Boleh?


Dan kalaulah lepas kenal pun pandangan tetap tidak berubah. Then saya redha.
After all, who am I to force you to like me. I am just being me... =)


...minda...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Baby Kitten is having a Nightmare



hahaha... CUTE!!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

empty..

It feels like i'm not part of you...
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Things I hate..

Got it from Twitter and it's true.

I hate it when.....

1. Someone says sorry again and again but keep on repeating the same mistakes.
2. I feel like the whole world don't understand me.
3. I'm hungry but I can't find anything to eat.
4. Responding to someone's text instantly but having to wait 20 minutes for them to reply back.
5. I feel like nobody cares.


..minda..



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

at last...

Im done with my article writing..

And im coming home bebeh!!!

Kak, dont miss me..
Syg, dont miss me..

I love both of you.. =)
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Monday, May 23, 2011

Craps

There are things in life we treasure and can't forget.
There are things in life we wish to forget but we can't.
There are things in life we hope we never ever did.
We can't change time back nor return to the past.
We can only live life current, plan for future, work hard and pray for the Creator's bless.

One had told me that every decision we made at that time was the best decision we have at that moment.
So have no regret.

We never know what future brings us.
We never know when will our time ends.
We never know what God plans for us.
We never know.

But we did know that, one day we will end our life in this earth..
We know that nothing is eternal in this world.
We know that we will return to our Creator.

So do a favour to yourself..
Obey your God, parents, and family.
Be a good person to everyone around you.
Do what ever it takes to become a better person.

Because one will not be considered as a successful person unless he/she is success to be a good slave to his/her Creator, a good son/daughter to his/her parents, and people around them.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

I am seventy-percent to complete

Yeay!! Thirty-percent to go and I am done! Kelegaan. InsyaAllah next week I'm coming home bebeh!!!

My advise is...Don't listen to rock music. It will retard and kill your brain cells.

Btw, read few blogs bashing Meleis (that's how they spell it) sebab macam2 sebab. Well, ada point yang aku tak setuju sangat. About being "saya gay saya ok" dan mengutuk orang yang mengutuk manusia tu. I mean..apa yang salah tetap salah. Apa yang haram tetap haram. Tapi menegur biarlah cara yang elok.

Islam tu tak susah. Kita yang menyusahkan sebenarnya..

Saya tau saya bukan hamba yang baik untuk my Creator.
Tapi saya berharap sangat agar menjadi hambaNya yang diredhai.


Saya yang naive,
..Minda..

Thursday, May 19, 2011

4 months to go

Am I ready? aiyook~~ mati.
Tadi Dr Norlida dengan muka seriusnya telah memberi dateline. September defend proposal. *Gulp!*

Paper aku tulih tadi suma sampah. Need to re-do everything. -_-"


She's aiming for PHD. Hm..and she warned that it'll be tougher compare to now.


I am soo dead!

1. My English is sux!
2. My writing skill is sux!
3. My putting-idea-into-sentence is sux!

Everything is sux! oh I really need an English teacher right now. Mr Brian O'Conner, can you teach me please~~?? *blink blink blink*


teeettttttt~~~ kepala sudah berat..


..minda..

Wake-up Call

Got a wake up call from Dr Norlida. Gonna meet her at 3pm today. It feels like I'm going to go for a battle or something. This might be due to all those warns I got from people around me in UiTM. That she is difficult, high expectation and kinda tough. (scary tho~)

Hm but hey, world is tough am I right? So before you step into an easy and stable life, you have to go through a lot of difficulties aite? Deeply in my heart I think it's my destiny to be attached to Dr Norlida. As for now, she is a very good person, will try her best to help people around and yes. I can see she is a tough and high expectation kinda person. But if I manage to graduate, then I am tougher than her. =)

After all, I am here to learn. To seek for knowledge. To become a better person.


"Verily, WE have created Man into toil and struggle." - Al-Balad (4)


Sesungguhnya, Allah lebih mengetahui... =)


..minda..

Seriously need a vacation



I need a getaway. From everything. Otak tepu!



Mom said never curse yourself or say bad things to yourself because it's like we are blaming God on what happen. No! I am grateful for every single thing I had in life. Yes I am.


It just having this feelings makes me kinda breakdown tho~ (once every month is a must to have this breakdown. hahaha)

1. I am FAT
2. I am UGLY
3. I am LAME
4. I am PATHETIC
5. I am LOSER
6. I am STUPID
7. I am BROKE


hahaha.. ok stop it minda. daaaa~


p/s : It's a day 1 of my rice-off-and-eat-only-nutritious-food diet. Wish me luck!



..minda..

Saturday, May 14, 2011

kehidupan yang tidak stabil

mungkin lagi puas kalau bercerita tentang kehidupan guna bahasa ibu lidah - read : mother tongue.
mungkin saya memang dilahirkan untuk tidak pandai berbahasa Inggeris.

Previously I wrote in English to prepare myself for my thesis and conferences. But today is exceptional. I will write in Malay. =)


hati hari ni rasa sangat tak tenteram.
macam dah lama tak rasa macam ni.
serabut. rasa nak nangis. rasa tak diperlukan. rasa menyesal.
segalanya!

rasa macam tak nak ada connection dengan dunia luar. atau sapa2.

I hate myself for being a pathetic loser.

saya tak boleh kontrol emosi! fullstop.

1. saya sangat menyesal marah boyfriend saya. tapi beliau sangat penyabar. :'(
2. saya jugak kecewa sebab setiap kali mak call, asyik ulang benda yang sama. :'(
3. saya sangat miskin. :'(
4. saya sangat penat.
5. saya rasa semua orang tak suka saya.
6. saya rasa nak kawen tapi saya tau saya tak layak untuk kawen lagi.
7. saya nak baby. tapi saya masih student yang mengharapkan duit elaun.
8. saya rasa hidup saya tak bawak kebaikan kat sapa2 pun.
9. saya kecewa dengan semua benda.
10. saya sangat gemuk dan tak cantik.
11. saya rasa saya bukan kekasih yang baik untuk boyfriend saya. :'(
12. saya rasa saya bukan anak yang baik untuk mak bapak saya. :'(
13. saya sebenarnya sangat sedih tapi saya buat2 cool.
14. saya jeles dengan kawan2 saya yang ada segalanya dan kehidupan sangat mudah. (ini sangat serius)
15. saya perlu berhenti menangis dan tidur.

good night.

yang benar,
minda the loser.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

random #6 : Jealousy



"Jealousy is not only inbred in human nature, but it is the most basic, all-pervasive emotion which touches man in all aspects of every human relationship." - Boris Sokoloff





I am who I am.. The more you hate me.. The more difficult will I be.. =)

Face it.. 


..minda..

distraction

I'm in a middle of writing my article when my phone starts to vibrate.

- Twitter notifications
- Message
- Facebook notifications

Damn it! Now I'm fully distracted by those entertainments and left my article behind. Syabas Minda!!


But I'm wondering..
What is so good about Twitter and Facebook that makes people addicted to them?

I'm not sure. But definitely.. I'm kinda addicted to 'em..

Bye!

..Minda..

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

random #5 : Disloyal is unacceptable

Hell yeah~ People deserve a second chance.. But have you ever heard something like this :

"Second chance is ok.. Third chance is stupid"


I'm not trying to influence you or anything. It just as a friend, I don't want you to end up regretting every single moment in your life for letting him play around with your heart. You are much more precious than just an ordinary flower (sarcastic duh! saw his updated status).



And if turn out he's no longer have your love.
He lose it by his own choice. His choice of being unfaithful to you.
Sometimes people don't realize things they have until they've lost it. They usually take it for granted.
And sometimes they have to pay for every single hurt they caused. Even it's a tiny little scratch.
Because giving another chance is like asking them to keep on hurting you while you yourself alone trying to cure those wounds they left.


"Hurt me once.. Shame on you.. Hurt me twice.. Shame on me"


I bet you had heard this quote before right? I don't know. But I don't buy those tears, efforts he made driving all way to your house, begging you for another chance. He can keep it to himself because I've seen that kind of to-win-your-heart-back efforts so many times before. And seriously, I'm sick of it. It's more to effortless effort, you know. Men will always be men. =)
Because why? They know in the end, there will still be a stupid young girl waiting for them even-though they gave us shit.




No. Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you to let go. You are wise enough to think and make decision on your own. You know that we will still be by your side no matter what happen. And believe me. I will be by your side. 


The truth is..
He had planned everything for us, and He promised us that He will rewards every single pain we had with a blissful rewards. But you need to have faith. Trust in Him. InsyaAllah. 






In the end, we all will return back to our Creator. 
So live life to the fullest.
Love those who loves you, leave people who hates you.
Don't hurt other people. Because end up you will hurt yourself more.


..minda..

Monday, May 9, 2011

random #4

sometimes..
all i need is just your support.

can't you see that you are killing me silently?
can't you see that you are weakening the bondings inside my mind..my heart..
i am getting weaker and weaker..
don't know how long will i survive..

sometimes..
all i need is just your support.


"siapa yang mampu mencapai mahumu..bilamana kau juga seorang manusia"



p/s : i love you with all my heart..i never meant to hurt you.... *sigh~*



..minda..

limited time

My mr programmer asked me to update.. But i dont really feel like updating.. This is a quick one..

Hey handsome..
I love you..
Muahh..

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