Thursday, December 30, 2010

dua hari sebelum tahun baru

melihat sekeliling...
ramai lagi manusia hidupnya lagi dasyat..

so minda..
kenapa kau perlu merungut?
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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

menyervis kereta

WUH harini masuk hospital..setelah beberapa hari asyik bejalan jauh ja.. mileage pun melebih lebih baru nak hantar buat medical check up..haha..kak, thanks for everything..

these past few days sangat teramat meletihkan.. setel segala urusan kehidupan.. mungkin ini jalan terbaik..and aku yakin dowh..ni jalan aku..haha..

well shah alam.. wait for me.. i'll be by your side in february.. be good to me ok??

i love you..
thanks akak n syg..for your help..
thanks mak bpk..for everything..
for your support..
for your love..
for your trust in me..

mak, dont be sad k? nanti when adik stable here. i'll take you with me..we wont be apart..muahhhh!!
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Thursday, December 23, 2010

when you hit the bottom, make sure you come back and rise again


depression..
it's how i feel..

sometimes the only thing i ask is for you to just listen
it's ok if you don't have any solutions..
it's ok if you have no words to say..

a smile. a hug. a kiss.
i wouldn't ask for more. 

for once..
i really hope that your lips will say this..

"it's ok dear. everything will be just fine"

and for the past 24 years..
it will always be my biggest wish..

*sigh

hari hari yang lemau

hey hidup tak kerja memang melemaukan pun.
pagi petang ngadap laptop. celik mata laptop. mandi makan buat pape patut pastu laptop takpun tido. plants vs zombies..addict!

so bila duduk saja2 berangan pasal future yang tah hape2..mula la nak rasa down. apa nak jadi ngan aku? laluan hidup aku ni smooth or end up jumpa jalan mati? kerek!

segalanya kabur bai~ aku kan suka plan every single things pasal future aku. so this time semua tak jadi macam apa yang aku plan. sangat kuciwa~

hari sabtu ni exam. satu apa pun tak study. kadang aku rasa malaysia punya sistem pendidikan ni teruk. macam cikgu2. macam lecturer. macam management. semua buat benda tak pikiaq. sebab tu sekarang budak2 dah jadi macam perangai pelik2. macam lecturer aku untuk crash course ni la. boleh plak bagi assignment yang kena guna software yang ada kat lab fakulti? ingat fakulti belakang rumah? haha.

ok cakap pasal berangan (berangan ja tak habis belajar malas). aku berangan sambung master (oh please bagi dapat. please..) dengan angan2 aku tu la aku berangan pulak survey2 bilik sewa kat sana. haha. then somehow pali pun menyuarakan nak beli rumah. well..over kan? saja nak saratkan angan2 i kan??

so demi tak menghampakan u, i rasa i ada cadangan. why not kita beli rumah (err bukan kita..tp u) kat area tengah2 antara maybank n uitm (uih~ berangan dapat!).. so fair and square kan? haha. tapi kalo dapat rumah blakang uitm tu lagi syiokk~ senang sket i nak rajin2 p jumpa lect ka apa ka..kan kan kan? ngeow~


ok stop minda. berangan untuk tah berapa tahun lagi..haha..kawen bila pun takto lg..hidup pun samar2..future pun ngarut lagi..kau nak bg anak makan ape?

hm..

our fate..our destiny..our future..has been written.. so tak payah kucar kacir fikir berteruk..

just go with the flow..

hopefully He wrote mine with a good ending. amin.


..minda..

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

rasa macam nampak quote ni kat status shepa and google..it's a quote from Marlene Dietrich..jumpa kat wikipedia.. haha..

kawan dalam hidup aku banyak sangat..kawan tadika, kawan sekolah rendah, kawan secondary school, kawan matriks, kawan U, kawan setaman, kawan senegeri, kawan tempat kerja, kawan tuisyen, kawan kepada kawan.
haha..banyak dowh..tak terbilang..

tapi tak semua yang knal aku. definitely. semua orang pun macam tu. 
only few of them yang really stick in my heart. yang macam adik beradik. yang will always be there tak kira pkol berapa. waktu bila. anytime. takdak limit.

yang bila aku sedih. aku tak rasa ragu2 pun nak call derang and menangis. and bila aku happy. aku boleh gelak macam orang gila without need to control. gelak sopan tutup mulut bagai. haha!

kawan yang bila aku sakit..they feel my pain. yang tak perlu bagi nasihat panjang2 untuk tenangkan aku. cukup dengan being there dah boleh buat aku tenang. 

it is friends..where you can curse them..call them stupid or ugly or fat. or sometimes all the nasty words..and end up laughing together like hell..that is friend! 

haha.mungkin takla kasar sangat. tapi it's true..kawan yang bila kau sakitkan hati derang. derang takkan simpan dalam hati. and still be nice to you and love you. (oh tapi jangan amik kesempatan)


aku ada a few kawan yang macam ni..tak banyak..tapi mereka ini yang complete me...



..minda..

pre-holiday sebelum moment penentu jumaat ini

hey harini dah start cuti sampai new year. kilang shut down seminggu.
harini dah masuk seminggu since aku bagi resignation letter kat bos aku. dan dalam masa seminggu jugak la bos aku dok buat macam2 benda bagi aku terharu + serba salah. deym!

why you make things more difficult huh? boleh tak kau jangan bagi aku serba salah?
oh since parents aku tak reti online apatah lagi baca blog. so aku berani la nak letak kat sini. well. of course la aku tak bagitau yang aku dah resign. kau gila???

so i am desperately looking for a better job or any opportunity untuk masa depan aku. haha.


then tiba2....(cewah..konon la tiba2..)
aku dapat contact 1 lecturer from uitm. mungkin petunjuk.who knows. she eagerly wants me to do master and kata if i perform she will convert me to phd. (take note untuk word perform!)

meaning that in 3 years i'll get my phd.. tadaaa~ settle..haha!

so hari jumaat ni la penentu...jumaat..hmm..

oh btw..berangan nak master dalam robotic and automation..tak agak2...hahaha..

apeadahal..nanti jumaat baru tengok result macam mana..so if she wants me..then march i sambung master...weehuuu~~~!! bye amd!!!


setel semua masalah..doa doa doa..harapan menggunung..doa doa doa..hmm..!


..minda..

Sunday, December 19, 2010

kali ni memang rasa jauh dalam hati ada sakit

orang tua dulu2 mengarut..
konon kalau letak tangkap gambaq kucin.. kucin tu akan mati..

i didnt take her pic pun..
betapa rasa nak snap pic putih tapi tak..
sebab dok hold kat benda takot kucin mati la apa la..
stupid minda!
you should have snap putih's pic..
then you wouldn't be missing her badly right now..
deym~!

this time it's really hurt....


....

melepak with yong, eyna and man..
had fun tapi sorry mengantuk sangat2 tadi..
it's like u guys tengah dodoi aku tidoq wey..haha..

oh btw babe..thanks!

"musuh min musuh yun jugak"


haha..deep inside aku sangat terharu..seriously.. hmm..


im blessed to have friends like both of you!


i love u..


..minda..

Saturday, December 18, 2010

gambaran menakutkan untuk masa depan perkahwinan

hey hey.. hari ni sangat sorrow morrow dan horror..

sorrow morrow
ateh dah meninggal..dan still have no clue sebab pa dia ninggal..and me? as usual rasa tak berguna..
tapi itu dah takdir.. ajal dah sampai.. no matter how kena accept..

tapi really still cant sleep sebab setiap kali tutup mata..terbayang ateh..
dia selalu kacau aku taip2 lappy ni.. sibuk nak plants vs zombies... *deym..nangeh.. :'(

sayang...
rest in peace there.. pray for me from there..Allah will listens to you..please..pray for me.. :'(


horror
well the doc yang aku call semalam did called back..tanya bout kucin condition..when i told him yang dah meninggal..ok..dia terkejut..then he did advise me on cats..kalau kena racun what should i do..kalau saket buat apa..and it's not end there.
ok my fault i text him to thanks him and say sorry. haha. well it's kinda cute dowh ada doc hewan laki.. and definitely easy for me to get advise bout cats..i try to be polite here ok! haha.

cuma when he started to ask about kawen ka blom, cuti tak turun kl ke..it's not appropriate kot for someone who already married text other girl macam tu kan? ke tak? i mean..kalau pasal work..ok la kan?

oh bab tau dia dah kawen tu because i like googling a lot... and 1st thing i'll do when i know someone new.. i'll google about them to look for any info.. pathetic kan? haha

but when we talk about how facebook can make our life miserable..in this case..facebook helps..so dari facebook la tau dia dah kahwin..and photos..haha. ok ok. stop.

my point is....
how can you guarantee that when you marry someone you love..he will be honest?
tak ke kesian kat bini doc tu kan?
i know it's nothing. cuma tak elok la kan?
takto.. aku memang pangkah habis habisan kalau laki dok melayan pompuan len walopun dah kawen..


wei aku nak tido dah ni...
nanti sambung elaborate..

night!

Friday, December 17, 2010

frustration

Never felt such a long nite like what i did last nite...

"segala isi dunia ni milik Allah" -- mak


Indeed..but still can't make my tears stop...
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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

bila dah nak hilang something baru nak appreciate kan?

typical human being..
suka take things for granted.. *sigh...

and typical me..
tak pernah puas dengan apa yang dah achieve..

aku rasa macam i have nothing..
nothing for me to be proud of..
atleast kawan2 suma macam dah berjaya..
ada master..enjoy dengan keja..
but me? haha!
it's true aku pun dah keja..and i really heart being an engineer..*walopun slalu dok merungut pasal keja*

aku nak master..aku nak phd..atleast biaq la achieve something before umur 30..
haha~ berangan2 tinggi tak agak..

oh btw aku dah start menabung..kira hari ni dalam sejarah...for the first time..aku allocate duit utk asb..*tepuk tepuk*

hmm..what do i really want in life???

hari ni rasa nak kawen..esok rasa takmo kawen..
hari ni rasa nak keja..esok rasa nak sambung blajaq..
haih..my biggest wish right now is having a cute lil baby..whoa~  -_-"


i heart this poem..



Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


one less traveled by..
and that has made all the difference..
hopefully~~


..minda..

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

hidup ni memang kena ada turning point.

and my turning point sudah sampai..
my ultimate kesabaran..
and that's it..

12.07am...
siap mengarang..
tomorrow will be the day..
deym~!! i need strength..
i dont have guts..but i have pride..
what ever it is...
esok segalanya..

mak..bapak..im so sorry..
didn't mean to hurt you..
jangan runsing2..
life is short...
anyhow i'll make it to the end...
end of our journey..
and this end will definitely memberikan something yang terbaik..
insyaAllah..


p/s : hope that this will lead me to a better path.. amin..

..minda..

Monday, December 13, 2010

we love fairy tales till it hurts

"When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is very easy to spot. The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is. Then you grow up and you realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought. You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; he's really funny, and he makes you laugh, and he has perfect hair." Taylor Swift...



fairy tales.. it's a good thing to hold on sometimes..but most of the times..it'll hurt like hell..no such thing as happily ever after..it exist but in the afterlife.. not now.. 

how do you know that the person you with right now is the one? how sure are you to tell yourself that ... 
"he's the one..no doubt" 
have you ever have a second thought? is he my prince charming? or some other guy which sooner or later will breaks my heart.. 

you know what..deep inside..no matter how sure you are...you will have the second thought..you will question yourself..

real life isn't fairy world..when it hurts...it hurts like hell.. when you are happy..it wont last.. that's the real world... 

tapi walau apa pun..kita manusia takleh la nak question lebih2 kan? semua tu takdir..fate..destiny..everything has been written by God..we can't change it.. unless dengan kehendakNya...

selagi hidup ni..try la hidup dengan tak menyusahkan orang lain.. this goes to the bad guy out there..haha..jangan menyusahkan kami2 pompuan ni..i mean..please wear something that easy for us to spot..ok? so that we know.. haha!

hope he's the one............

=)


..minda..

si putih atau si atih?

wa baru dapat kucing baru..(baru kebas dari umah abang wa)

wei memang sempoi kucing kali ni..putih and warna mata dia selalu tukar2.. setakat ni aku dah detect 3 warna dia tukar ikut suka hati dia.. pink pink merah, biru, ngan putih jernih..pastu kalau mata dia putih jernih tu, macam ada bintang keliling..memang sempoi.. bikin wa jatuh cinta.. lalu wa cilok..


malam ni beliau tidur dengan aku.. cuma tak sure nama dia sebenar putih atau atih sebab anak buah aku kejap2 panggil putih..pastu atih..aku pun konfius..pastu kucing ni pun konfius dengan nama dia..


best part is beliau berak dalam toilet..haha..senang kan? aku bukak pintu toilet pastu dia berak..fuh~ memang meluap2 rasa sayang kasih cinta kat dia..

tapi part yang tak best is....


dia pun nak menyebok main plants vs zombies and sibuk2 nak taip sekali kat lappy aku ni.. *dh bp banyak kali dok delete retype sebab si putih ni menyebok~* nasib baek ko comel putih!


oh ingat nak letak pic dia kat sini..tapi orang tua2 pesan takleh letak pic kucin nanti umoq depa pendek.. hahah..tak pecaya tapi better dont kan?? lalalal~~


daaaa~~

p/s : demmit! esok wa sudah start kilija... haih~!!!



..minda..

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

im shining like a candle in the dark


" you walked into my life to stop my tears...
everything is easy now i have you here..."


..i love you..
.
.
.
..minda..